


sometimes goodbye is better than see you soon

by ODed_on_jingle_jangle



Series: aftershock [1]
Category: Dare Me (TV 2019), Dare Me - Megan Abbott
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous Relationships, Bittersweet, Chance Meetings, Conversations, Future Fic, Gen, Light Angst, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Assault, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24276178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ODed_on_jingle_jangle/pseuds/ODed_on_jingle_jangle
Summary: “Long time no see, Hanlon.” Beth looks her up and down, feeling her polite smile turn into a real one as she winks. “Looking good.”“Thanks, you too.” Addy blinks, lips twitching with a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes as she says, “but it’s French now.”“…huh?” Beth narrows her eyes.“You called me 'Hanlon.'” Addy almost shyly lifts up her hand and wiggles her fingers, revealing yet another silver ring. “It’s French now.”
Series: aftershock [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767220
Comments: 29
Kudos: 54





	sometimes goodbye is better than see you soon

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous said: _Could you write a fic where Addy and Beth reunite when they're a little older but Beth has finally moved on from Addy (preferably with a girl) and she's happier now? With Addy miserable because she picked Collete and realizes it was a mistake. Please please, I love your writing!_
> 
> I almost did not fill this prompt for reasons I mentioned when I answered this on my tumblr, but then I had to. For the angst. I've no heart, I've only a spade and it beats for angst, lmaoo. I'm not sure if it's exactly what you were looking for, but here it is anyway. 
> 
> This fic features discussions of Addy/Colette but not the relationship itself. Hence why it is not tagged as such. Nevertheless I'm warning for it here, so folks are aware going forward and can hit the back button if that's a dealbreaker for their reading experience.
> 
> I find crossovers and Easter eggs more amusing than most people probably do, so there's a very obvious one in here. I apologize for that.

Beth is out Christmas shopping when she sees her. It’s been eight years but there is no mistaking Addy. No mistaking those legs for miles and the profile of her face, even as it’s sharpened with maturity, a silver nose ring glittering between her nostrils. It matches the rings in her hair, beautiful box braids dancing down her back. 

“Hanlon,” she calls out, somewhat surprising herself. 

Addy whips around, jaw falling open. She starts toward Beth, then stops herself, blinking rapidly. Like she can’t quite believe what she’s seeing. As if Beth is a mirage about to disappear before her eyes. 

For a moment, Beth wonders if she should just smile, wave, and leave. Refocus on her shopping list. But her heart is doing strange things inside her chest and she can’t quite force her feet to walk away as Addy resumes her approach. 

“H-Hey,” Addy greets, stopping a few lengths away. 

“Long time no see, Hanlon.” Beth looks her up and down, feeling her polite smile turn into a real one as she winks. “Looking good.” 

It’s true, too. Addy’s still has the graceful gazelle frame she had in high school, slim but compact with lioness strength. Her waistline is thicker than it was then, abs more defined, a silver belly button ring blinking out under her crop-top, matching her hair and her nose. Tangerine tights leave little to the imagination— Addy definitely still goes running. 

“Thanks, you too.” Addy blinks, lips twitching with a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes as she says, “but it’s French now.” 

“…huh?” Beth narrows her eyes. 

“You called me 'Hanlon.'” Addy almost shyly lifts up her hand and wiggles her fingers, revealing yet another silver ring. “It’s French now.” 

For a moment, Beth just stares, taking it all in. Seeing Addy again after nearly a decade. The announcement that Addy is married now, that Addy has married someone with the same last name as Colette. That’s a little weird…

“Congratulations,” Beth says anyway, feels the shift in her smile as it falters back into obligated politeness.

Addy pauses, tilting her head. “Would…would you wanna hit the café together? For old times’s sake?” 

Beth nibbles her lip, adjusts her ponytail as she considers, fingers smoothing through her hair. She’s made a lot of progress in the years since she’s last seen Addy. Once upon a time, Addy was her undoing. No— once upon a time, Beth _allowed_ Addy to be her undoing. Because she had no real reason not to, nothing else in her life that mattered, no one else who cared, so Addy became her sun and Beth chose to orbit. 

That won’t happen again because things aren’t the same anymore. There are people and things that matter to Beth now. She matters to herself now. 

Beth matters to herself now. She can get a cup of fucking coffee with an almost lover from her messy teenage years, and not have a breakdown. She’s curious to see what’s going on in Addy’s life anyway. Needless to say, that silver ring and the new last name have piqued her interest. 

“Sure,” Beth decides. 

So they head to the café and get coffees and chocolate chip muffins. One thing that hasn’t changed is the way Addy puts in always three creamers, exactly. One thing that has is that when they sit across from each other in these cozy little chairs, they don’t play footsie and they don’t spit the muffins back into the napkins after chewing them to sickly sweet pastes.

For awhile, it’s just small talk. About the weather. The upcoming holiday. The crowds at the stores today. But eventually Addy exhales and says, 

“I know it probably sounds weird, me and Colette…” 

Beth halts mid-bite, teeth scraping over a chocolate chip. 

“Even weirder, cause it’s Matt’s last name,” Addy goes on, not looking at Beth anymore, fidgeting with her napkin, “but Colette didn’t want her maiden name either, cause her dad was an asshole, and I didn’t want to keep my mom’s last name, because she blew her top when we got together and she wouldn’t support it, so…”

Beth lowers her muffin back to the table, feeling her eyes widen. 

“Wait, _Colette_ French? You married Coach Colette?” Beth asks, unable to keep herself from gaping at Addy as though she’s sprouted a second head. 

And then it’s Addy who seems confused, looking back up to Beth, tongue flicking over her lips. “Uh, yeah…”

“Oh.” What the fuck. Beth gives herself a shake and sips her coffee. “I just assumed it was some other French. Someone I didn’t know.”

Addy messes with her napkin some more, absently ripping tiny tears into the edges. “Oh. Yeah, funny enough, she, um, ended up being my coach again at MSU. It was like destiny, or something.” 

_Or maybe she was stalking you_ , Beth thinks, finding the whole thing next level bizarro. She doesn’t dare voice any of that though. Instead, she thoughtfully chews over another bite of muffin and hums, 

“So you did keep cheerleading.” 

“Yep.” Addy bobs her head, flashes a smile. “Captain of the squad at MSU for two years.” 

“Just two?” Beth tips her head. “I was positive you’d cheer the whole five years. No one wanted it more than you.”

A shadow casts over Addy’s face. She gives a tiny shrug and shreds her napkin to pieces without meeting Beth’s gaze. “It was fun while it lasted. So, what about you? Your girlfriend seems nice. Hannah, right?” 

“Yeah,” Beth murmurs, affectionate warmth rising in her chest. “Wait, how did you know about Hannah?” 

“How would I not know in our modern era of social media saturation?” Addy rolls her eyes. “What can I say, I check your Instagram now and then…” 

“Ah.” Beth can’t say the same. She’s made a point to avoid most Addy related things. Her therapist thought it would be better that way and after awhile, she’d come to agree. 

“Hannah’s cute.” Addy takes a sip of coffee. “Where’d you meet her? College?” 

“Support group at college.” This had been another suggestion from her therapist. “For survivors of assault.” 

Addy flinches as she lowers her cup. Beth can feel her squirming in her chair like a centipede under a rock and Beth raises her head, holds it high. 

“I’m not ashamed, Addy. I’m not the one who has anything to be ashamed of.” 

“No, no, of course not. But I think I do.” Addy swallows, clearing her throat. 

She reaches across the table. For a heartbeat, for one simultaneously wretched and magnificent heartbeat that makes Beth’s breath catch, she thinks Addy is about to take her hand. Then her fingers veer off to the side and their hands are not touching, but they are close— so close Beth can feel the body heat coming off them —as Addy grabs another napkin from the dispenser. 

“I should’ve known what happened back then without having to ask you,” Addy murmurs so softly, her voice the whisper of firefly wings in the fields at dusk. “I should’ve just known. I shouldn’t have even wondered, I shouldn’t have ever thought it could’ve been anything other than what it was. For that, Beth…I’m sorry.” 

“It wasn’t your job to know, or to take care of me, Addy,” Beth says and she doesn’t feel the lump in her throat she did when she first came to terms with this. “It was my parents. They failed me before anyone else, before you, and it’s not like that’s okay, it’s never going to be okay…but having so much shit thrown at me made me able to appreciate a good thing when I found it.” 

Addy inclines her head and nibbles at her muffin. “Hannah?” 

“My life doesn’t revolve around Hannah.” Beth rolls her eyes and licks a chocolate smudge off the side of her thumb. “I have a succulent garden, I’ve gotten very good at axe throwing, and I’m in training to be a PI.” 

“A PI?” Addy huffs an awed laugh, almost like they’re friends, and smiles brightly. “Oh, that’s perfect for you. You’re crazy perceptive, almost clairvoyant.” 

“My trainer agrees.” Beth smirks. “So does Hannah, truth be told.” 

“Is she here with you?” 

“No, I told her not to come. She’s nervous about submitting her poetry to this publisher, so she keeps rewriting the cover letter over and over.” Beth fondly shakes her head and finishes off her muffin. “Besides, I still have gifts to get her.” 

“Anything in mind?” 

“Something vintage? It’s kind of her aesthetic. Cassette tapes and converse, that kinda thing.” 

“Unique.” Addy hums. “They have some retro posters on sale at The Roadshow outlet.” 

“Thanks for the tip.” Irresistibly, Beth asks, “Are you shopping for Colette?” 

“Nah. Caitlin.” Addy neglects what’s left of her muffin in favor of picking at her new napkin. “Coach’s mom has sole custody. It was like, part of the deal she had to take to avoid jail time. So we don’t see her or anything, but we send cards, gifts, all that good stuff…” 

Beth blinks as she realizes Addy just referred to her apparent wife as ‘Coach.’ She supposes it’s no less weird than the rest of that sentence though. Or like, the whole situation. She realizes that all of it is supremely strange, but none of it is her problem. Not anymore. 

"I guess we both got what we wanted," she tells Addy quietly.

"Things are never how you think they're going to be..."

"But maybe they're better, right?"

Addy's lips shape a grim smile, like she's just sipped cyanide instead of coffee. Beth finishes the last of her own coffee and stands up, stretching until little pockets of air pop between the knobs of her spine. She digs into her purse and places her half of the bill on the table. 

“It was nice catching up, but I should get back to shopping. Bye, Addy.” 

“W-Wait.” Addy reaches out, catches a swatch of Beth’s sleeve. 

Beth peers back at her. 

“Maybe we could exchange numbers?” she asks hopefully. “So we could, um, do this again sometime?” 

Beth places her hand over Addy’s and very gently pries her fingers off. 

“No. I’m good, Addy,” she sighs out. “I want to stay good, okay?” 

Addy swallows, bowing her head. “Yeah. Bye, Beth.” 

Beth smiles at her for what’s bound to be the last time and leaves the café, ponytail bouncing behind her back. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from A Softer World: 477.
> 
> Will fix typos when I'm awake.
> 
> Edit: Fixed typos and put back in some dialogue I took out before. I took it out cause I thought it looked bad, then I reread and thought it looked worse without it.


End file.
